i update everyday this post with new funny facebook status.. so keep in touch with this Post,, bookmarked it...
funny facebook status...
(1)I’m not addicted to Facebook. I only use it when I have time: lunch time, break time, bed time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
(2)Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.
--> (3)WARNING!
D0n't go to the bathr0om at
11:59 PM , 31/12/2011.
.
. .
. Y0u will c0me 0ut the next
year
(4)today is my birthday :)
no body wish me :(
like if you want to wish me
(5)Would like to congratulate their parents on having such an awesome daughter-well done!
(6)I hate weddings. old people would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped when I started going up to them at funerals and poking them, saying, "You're next".
(7)Ques: Why do Girls live Longer Than Boys? Ans: Shopping never Causes Heart Attacks, .. But Paying the Bill does.
--> (8)You don’t have to like me, I’m not a facebook status! ;)
(9)If money grew on trees, girls would be dating monkeys!
(10)Dear math: I am not a therapist, so solve your own problems.
(11)How much do I have to drink to get a mosquito drunk?
(12) I miss you like a retard misses the point!
(13) wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…but suicide’s a crime.
(14) When a lady had a nice time with a guy, she looks forward for the next moment and the guys looks forward for the next chick.
(15) I am proud of myself. I finished the puzzle in just 6 months while the box said 2 to 4 years.
(16)Why Are people scared of 2012 i am not scared in fact on december 2012 i will go outside naked and say bring it on...
(17)I swear, if FACEBOOK changes their layout one more time, I’m going to post a status update about it & then use their site as much as always.....
(18)Everytime when I close my eyes..
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I can't see. :
(19)If Sunny Leone marries Sunny Deol, she will also becomeSunny Deol..
(20)0ne second iz enough to Fall in Gutterr..Owhhh....sooolllllllllyyyyyyy.
.I mean Love.)
(21)
Some hidden facts:
a) 90% of people in Australia don't drink milk.
b) Snake's vision,, is up to 5 km,,,
c) A man can touch sun if his body is completely surrounded by mercury.
d) No twins have been born up till now in Greenland.
e) Zebra doesn't have a liver.
f) All the above details are false.
g) Thanks for believing for a while.
h)Today is not April 1st.
i)But a fool is a fool on any day
(22)You sent friend request , I accepted , We talked , We liked , We dated , We got commited , I loved , You cheated , I deleted
(23)fake laughs, fake smiles, fake promises, fake love.sounds like everything is 'Made In China'.!!
(24)Worst reply to a proposal
Boy - I love you..
.
.
Girl - Hmmmm..aur bata..wats up ?!
(25)Height of Addiction :
just b4 a prisoner's execution the officer
asked him abt his last wish
He told :
"Dude! I wanna update my facebook status"
(26)I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? Well…my phone number for a start.
(27)If my room is clean, it means that Facebook is not working..
(28)Lazy Rule #33: If ice falls, kick it under the fridge.
(29)You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
(30)Go to Google.com and type “Do A Barrel Roll” DO IT. Share this post and spread the word!
(31)This is how my week goes: Mooooooooooooonday Tuuuuuuuuuuuuesday Weeeeeeeeeeednesday Thuuuuuuuuuuursday FridaySaturdaySunday
(32)Some people don’t poop, crap just comes out of their mouth 24/7.
(33)I heard you’re a player. Nice to meet you. I’m the coach.
(34)I now to only drink on days ending in the letter “Y”.
(35)Facebook poking started in prison.
(36)I WISH i could be a status, so you could LIKE me .
(37)Relationships are like Tom & Jerry: They tease each other, knock down each other, irritate each other, but can’t live without each other.
(38)Last Night I Dreamt I was Eating A Giant Marshmallow……..When I Woke Up My Pillow Was Gone.
(39)Sometimes i fill up my blow up doll with helium so its playing hard to get.
(40)My friends status said, “standing on the edge of a cliff :/”…so i poked him.
(41)My children are quiet. They've either figured out how to play together nicely, or have killed each other.
(42)I sleep better naked...why can't the flight attendant understand this
(43)My heart is yours to Fill or Burst.. To Break or Bury.. Or wear as Jewelry.. Whichever you prefer.
(44)I love my wife
(45)Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention on driving.
(46)height of attitude :-
teacher: why r u talking during my lesson?
student: why r u teaching during my conversation.idiot.
(47)If you try to fail and you succeed, have you succeeded or failed?
(48)I want to kill the smartest person in the world… but suicide is a crime, you know!!
(49)wanted to be a hero. He wanted the glory, he wanted the fame, he wanted the pretty girls to come up to him and kiss him.
(51)”Fucking” is one of those fucking words you can fucking put any fucking where in a sentence and it still makes fucking sense
(52)is playing hide and seek with Osama Bin Laden. Damb he's good.
(53)If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
(54)This sexy bird looked at my beer belly and said "Is that carlsberg or tetleys? " I replied" "theres a tap underneath love if u wanna taste it!"
(55)im to sexy for my....... o wait im not wearing anything :P)
"Today is not April 1st, but a fool is a fool any day". I liked that actually.
ReplyDeleteheyy mark I think you cant read my post from Starting... This is new status for coming 2012.. and only 4 days are left...
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